The Intimacy Temptation, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Skull

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles interpret excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, having sex brings enormous meaning and effects.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be good too).

B.more typically, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are drawn in to extremely hard to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , resulting in powerful feelings of tourist attraction, excitement, love, closeness, and well-being .

However when problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is excellent!" They most likely wouldn't confess it, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual attraction and you could check here physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, states that a lot of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in urbane areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical appearance, motivates sexual activity. If a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible, numerous gay men want to find out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with common sense. While good sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, values, goals, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing stimulates!

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