The Sensuality Lure, Balancing Hormones and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles interpret excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, having sex carries immense meaning and effects.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready too).

B.more typically, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the opportunity to make love click this with somebody we are attracted to exceptionally difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , resulting in effective sensations of destination, enjoyment, wellness, love, and nearness .

However when issues emerge, those who fall under the Sex read this post here Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They more than likely would not confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay males, states that many of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in cosmopolitan areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

However, this hyperlink North adds, "I suspect this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to explain that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a provided that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though often it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, goals, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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