The Sex Lure, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys use love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs interpret excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these singles, having sex brings immense significance and effects.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will be great too).

B.more frequently, all consciousness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
So, instead of looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels aside from physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), makings the chance to make love with someone we are drawn in to exceptionally tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel extremely near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , resulting in effective feelings of tourist attraction, enjoyment, closeness, well-being, and love .

However when problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They more than likely wouldn't confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, says that much of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in city locations, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

However, North includes, "I suspect this is a ' man' thing rather helpful resources than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, values, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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